Stop right now, thank you very much, we don’t need a Spice Girls reunion.

If you had asked me at the age of 12, I would scream with pride that 90’s girl power pop group were reuniting, I’d literally punch the air and rejoice. My 32 year old self, doesn’t agree. A couple of weeks ago, Victoria Beckham, Emma Bunton, Geri Horner, Melanie Brown and Melanie Chisholm all met up at Geri’s for lunch. They shared a picture of themselves on social media and unsurprisingly the world went a little mad. There’s been speculation for years that the Spice Girls would be reuniting for a reunion tour, but nothing has ever been confirmed. Throughout time, Victoria Beckham has always shot down rumours of a tour, but with so many questions flying around the Internet at the moment, who knows what is true. Nothing has been confirmed by CAA, the Spice Girl’s long-time agency either.

When I was a youngster, they were the best thing on the planet. I was obsessed. I was naturally Victoria Beckham, I could go from happy and smile-y to a full moody pout in seconds, having dark bob-style hair helped also. At the time I was their number one fan. Their music was great, empowering to all women, they kicked ass, wore amazing outfits, didn’t give a shit about anything, were cheeky and fun and basically ruled the world. They were a huge influence on pop culture in the 90’s, pretty much unheard of since The Sex Pistols and The Beatles.

This year their hit single “Wannabe” will be 22, yep, 22 years of age in July. Terrifying how quick that time has flown by. Everyone knew every word, it didn’t matter who you were, everyone knew how to Zigga Zig Aaaah! Each Spice Girl had a nickname – Victoria was Posh, Mel C was Sporty, Mel B was scary, Emma was baby and Geri was ginger. They were named for their different personas and each dressed and acted accordingly. Sporty was always in crop tops and tracksuits with trainers, Ginger was always in provocative short vibrant dresses (remember her Union Jack dress at the Brits) and big platform shoes, Baby always had her hair in piggy tails, usually with a lollypop sticking out of her mouth always looking cutesy and Scary was nearly always in animal print. They showed girls that it didn’t matter who you were or where you were from, that not every girl fits into the conventional feminine stereotype. At school, with this song as their first single hitting the radio, every girl in my class immediately picked who they were most like and we would spend hours perfecting our poses, voices and whatnot to be exactly like them.

They sold a ridiculous amount of records over the year and toured everywhere. Their 80 million records sold worldwide, saw them tour USA, UK, Canada, Europe and Asia. They had a successful movie called Spice World, which starred many famous actors including Richard E.Grant, Roger Moore, Meat Loaf and Jennifer Saunders to name just a few. The movie was made on a £25 million budget and an impressive £101 million at the Box Office. As if that wasn’t enough, they performed at the 2012 London Olympics and individually have gone onto successful careers in TV presenting, judging on TV and/music shows, solo music careers, radio presenting and fashion.

Their girl power message, meant youngsters everywhere looked up to them, felt that they had a voice. They were strong characters, strong female role models who didn’t take shit from anyone. They were different, sassy and didn’t give two hoots what people thought, which was of course a huge attraction. They were friends with royals, presidents, anyone and everyone. They had fun and encouraged girls of all ages to follow their dreams, no matter what. They were a friendship group who supported each other and enjoyed themselves. They were, as some believed, a national treasure. Looking back at my childhood, they were my life. They were the Little Mix of my generation, wearing less slutty clothes of course.

Although they took over the 90’s, having them back reformed in 2018, would be terrible. Everyone knows they would just be doing it for money, as they’re either doing really well in their careers or terrible (Mel B recently spent thousands in court in America).

Victoria Beckham told Vogue “I’m not going on tour. The girls aren’t going on tour.”

According to the Sun, a source said:

Given the family situations, commuting to a gruelling megs world tour was always a tough ask. When they got back together this month to discuss reforming, a mammoth tour was dismissed Nu the majority. But performing together again wasn’t, so the idea of playing a few huge shows in various cities as one hat received the most interest.

However, that’s just one aspect of the comeback they’re exploring, with the TV show element their likely priority, especially in the short-term.”

They should just stick to their families, overpriced clothing range and be done. They can’t sing, can’t dance and would give false hope to millions of girls on this planet that dressing like that in this day and age is appropriate. Whilst they definitely had power back then, they won’t have the same effect now. Thinking back, the Spice Girls did well thanks to a great mix of marketing, managers and their record label. Their first album, Spice, was the biggest-selling album of all time by a girl group, selling an astonishing 28 million copies worldwide. Each of their first 6 singles topped the charts in the U.K. They were the first group ever (and still remain the only all-female group) to have done that and their 2008 reunion tour sold out in 38 seconds. Their managers made sure they were everywhere and I mean everywhere. It was literally Spice Girls mania. They were on commercials, talk shows, in magazines, in the paper, on the radio, in the charts, had tonnes of merchandise, had their own dolls – I’m pretty sure I had a duvet cover set, a wall clock, watch, necklaces, magazines and God knows whatever else. I’m pretty sure my mum hated them as they over-sexualised everything, were half naked in most of their outfits, didn’t really boast girl power more said it, than actually did it, were cheeky but also came across quite thick, playing the dumb card on a lot of occasions plus they often got away with doing stupid shit like pinching Prince Charles bum.

I suppose we looked up to them because they achieved so much. They made a shit load of money, were super famous, socialised with so many different people, acted in a movie even though they can’t act, sang in a band even though they couldn’t sing and ‘danced’ even though they definitely couldn’t do that either. They didn’t play instruments, they didn’t write their songs, but they managed to achieve things most people today struggle to even with the likes of YouTube and social media. They just managed to takeover the world but have a good management system in place.

They were overexposed, over promoted, over hyped and overrated. In comparison to the talent in the music industry today, talent pays off. Just look at the likes of Adele, Shawn Mendez and dare I say it, Justin Bieber. They’ve all successfully carved out careers but all through hard work, catching someone’s eye online and getting to where they are now, creating millions of fans and totally deserving it, even with a breakdown here and there. When Geri left the band, the cracks began to show. The media once loving every part of them started to revert. They target audience were now getting older and not so interested as they were anymore. They started to get annoying, uninteresting and boring. Other bands started to be of interest as the world and the internet changed people’s views on everything and everyone.

They should all just stick to the industry that they’re working in now:

  • Victoria Beckham – fashion. She’s bizarrely managed to carve a successful fashion career after the Spice Girls and people actually pay big bucks to look like a stick insect. She tried with the pop album but it wasn’t very successful. Besides being married to ex-footballer David Beckham and having good looking kids, she’s known for her baffling choices for her clothing line and eating weird food.
  • Mel B – weirdly she’s a judge on “America’s Got Talent,” with Heidi Klum. Funnily judging people with talent. Recently divorced her husband in a very public way.
  • Geri Halliwell – did quite well on the solo album front, thanks to hits like the remake of “It’s Raining Men,” which she spent most of the time running around in a skimpy leotard, showing off her very very toned body. She is currently presenting a new music singing contest with comedian Rob Beckett. Now married to Christian Horner, a team principal for the Red Bull Racing F1 team.
  • Mel C – didn’t have a bad voice, probably the best in the group. Has released about 6/7 albums and sung with 90’s crooner Bryan Adams. Often appears on tv quiz shows.
  • Emma Bunton – she released 2 albums since the Spice Girls. Has been a tv presenter on Heart radio since 2009.

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