In the first few months of my pregnancy, my diet consisted mainly of salt & vinegar crisps, sour Haribo and carbs. I wasn’t very big on eating anything healthy even though I was encouraged to do so, but spending so much time hugging a toilet and giving in to cravings, there really wasn’t much left to take in afterwards. My diet got better as the morning sickness came to a halt, as I got used to a new house, a new area, as the months went on and I got a little bigger each day, until I couldn’t walk far without a waddle or a rest. After I had Emily I thought in my head, my diet would resume to before pregnancy but that didn’t happen. The first week of her tiny life, whilst I breastfed, we lived on takeaways. Terrible and something I wouldn’t normally stick to but we were shattered and I was physically exhausted, trying to get used to a new baby and finding a time to eat or rest amongst the chaos that was now parenthood. It was difficult to eat a normal healthy diet, no matter how much food I had prepared for and put in the freezer.
Fast forward 4 months and my diet is a little better. I mean I manage at least 2 meals a day but I can’t stop snacking. It’s really difficult to not have cake, or chocolate (and I mean a whole bar of Galaxy, the big one, not the snack sized bars) and all the other crap that has mountains of sugar in it. See the thing is, sticking to 3 meals a day without snacking is hard work. Sometimes I even forget to eat anything healthy and substituting it with a bar of chocolate or a cereal bar and they’ve both got a lot of sugar. It’s terrible. Although my tummy has gone down a lot since labour, I haven’t actually lost much weight. I still weigh near enough to what I weighed in the last month of pregnancy and that’s terrible. I walk a lot, but pushing a pram up and down hills, around Thanet isn’t doing any wonders to my bingo wings or tummy. I want, actually, I need to get back to my pre-existing size, because whilst Emily grows, she is getting heavier, my back constantly aching with pain and I just need to be fitter. The food in most of my meals are healthy. I generally eat 2 meals a day at the moment but it’s the snacking that keeps my postpartum weight up. If I manage to eat breakfast beyond a cereal bar, it will be a slice or two of toast, I’ve banned myself from eating a bacon sarnie or eggs and bacon in the morning, because that’s a heart attack waiting to happen. Sometimes lunch is non-existent, but I always eat dinner, because it’s something I enjoy cooking for Sam and our dinners is our thing we have together. I love cooking and given that Sam has a healthy appetite for pretty much anything, I can experiment, showing off my culinary skills.
But I need to stop, I need to pull myself together and stop snacking. It’s not even like I snack on fruit, it’s the naughty treats that usually tickle my fancy. But, I’m setting myself a task. Emily will be 5 months in a little under a week and I need to give myself a kick up the ass and take control. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I can do this.