As Shakespeare’s Hamlet said ‘To be or not to be,’ I’ve changed the famous quote that’s been used for so many different scenarios and made it my very own, for every pregnant women’s daily nightmare, the bathroom game. I apologise to all those who’re using a historic quote for something a little vulgar but I have to get this off my chest. I’m nearing the end, finally. It’s been a long journey, one of which I do not plan rushing into as quickly the next time- not that we planned this, I mean who does, but next time we’re going full steam ahead with the baby idea, I’m cracking out the whole pro’s & con’s list on a white board and a good bye, so long, farewell uterus party. In the past 9 months, I’ve felt like I’ve been pregnant for absolute years, decades even. Years I tell you, not months “it’s flown so quickly,” years. And now that I’m nearing the end, I feel like I should have a party to celebrate the fact my uterus will return to normal, my bladder will regain its size and I won’t pass wind like a steam train anymore.
You do not realise how much I’m looking forward to having a normal day and night without having to pee a lot. If you’re in your first few months of pregnancy you’ll know how annoying it is to pee a lot, but believe me when I say this, it will get worse, way way worse. As your baby grows, they’ll move their teeny heads around a lot which means your bladder gets it and most of the time, it means running to the bathroom even if you don’t really need to pee, but you have to because there is always that fear that you may in fact wet the bed. At the moment I must pee at least 22 times during the day and then at least 15 times a night. It’s not fun and I can’t wait until I regain the control of my bladder again.
Day time peeing happens a lot but you don’t really notice how much you pee in a day especially if you’re sitting at home trying to rest before the little one arrives. But at night, it’s like the devil is out to play. I do not know why it’s worse but it bloody well is and it’s mean, just really really mean.
The nighttime pee game
Ah, the game we all hate. HATE HATE HATE HATE. Guy’s you’re lucky you don’t have to put up with this crap but us ladies, we do and it’s annoying. As if getting out of bed isn’t a big enough struggle trying to roll myself over with a huge bump, not trying to look like a turtle on its back, hoisting myself up without breaking my wrists, when I have to pee, the countdown from the moment you have the urge to the moment you have to get to that toilet bowl, pull down PJ bottoms, and get comfy on the throne, is limited. Honestly, the pressure to run with a gigantic belly in your way is terrifying.
My struggles of the bathroom game don’t seem to faze Sam, he doesn’t even notice my bathroom breaks anymore, he’s too into la la land to notice that I’ve frequented it 15 times in less than 12 minutes.
The night generally starts off with a promise to myself that I’m not going to drink anything an hour or two before bed:
Before realising I need to keep myself hydrated and I really really do want that cup of decaf tea before bed:
Which means I’ll go to the bathroom quite a fair few times in the night, but how many, my baby will decide for me:
Getting into a comfy sleeping position only for it to be ruined. Just as sleep starts to blend in and dreams are about to fill my mind, baby wiggles and BAM, the first stage of night time peeing begins….
Reaching the bathroom, sitting down on that toilet and reaching some form of euphoria being able to empty your bladder is sheer bliss.
Manage to get comfy in bed…
Feel the urge coming…
And so the charade begins, the run to the bathroom…
Try and stay awake…
This happens about 12-15 times a night, it’s highly annoying and has now got me like ‘You will not defeat me!’ so I sleep when I can during the day rather than at night.
I can’t wait to resume to normal bladder days….