The waddle is coming, I can feel it 


At 34 weeks with what I think is a neat rounded bump, with most of my weight focusing on my boobs and bump, I’ve been lucky enough not to gain the dreaded waddle that most women have taken onboard a few weeks ago. I’m currently sitting in the maternity day care unit waiting upon the next blood test that can let me be relieved from my 13 hours fast so I can eat something besides boring water and a bottle of unsatisfying glocuse liquid. The wait isn’t too bad, thankfully I’m being entertained by a very cute 2yo who at present is babbling nonsense about Peppa Pig and giving her mum the runaround whilst she too, waits for her fast to be over. 

With a numb bum I sit here patiently waiting for a nurse to call my name, but on a few occasions I’ve had to jump, that’s a lie, peel myself off the uncomfortable fabric wooden chair to shake off the dead leg that’s crippling my lower body. On the other side of the ward there are women of all ages, all bump sizes and more walking in various different ways to collect results, see scans for the first or last time before there little ones arrive and it’s amazing seeing the difference in all their walks. Some have a delicate flow about them, some have a bounce in their step from the delightfully good news they’ve just received, others are dragging their feet like they’re a hundred stone, others huffing and puffing with all the extra weight whilst one or two have the dreaded waddle. You know the waddle, it seems to be the case with some women unfortunate to gain it and I find it baffling and equally scary. I pray I don’t become one of them but somewhere in my body I can feel it, coming, ready to rear it’s ugly head when it feels it’s necessary. It’s unavoidable that’s for sure, with the mixture of hormones, our bumps putting an increased amount of pressure on our backs, waddling can and will happen to some. I think I currently walk fine, that I haven’t drifted into the common penguin walk. At most, if I’m tired, I lean a lot on my left side as Missy is hellbent on staying snug within the right side of my bump until she comes out, which of course gives me a slight look of a painful limp but honestly, I’m not in pain! I swear. 

I hope that should I get this waddle I can make it my own pregnancy swag. I’m sure with my bump dropping in the next few weeks, it will show with flying colours. Hopefully I won’t look like the many who look like they can’t walk and they’re about to topple over. If I do, please, shoot me

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