Attention partners, things you need to hear and understand…

For those who haven’t been pregnant or has a partner who is going through pregnancy, you really need to understand a few things. This isn’t a moan, well it is, but it’s also a reality check. Just a few things that I feel, on behalf of a few others need to get off our chests.
Kicking, as magical as it is, after a while it can bloody hurt 

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The other day I experienced her kick/move repeatedly for about 5 hours. First it started off as cute, at moments laughable, but after a while it was sore, really sore and I was starting to get snappy, irritated, peeved off and very very fed up. Night times I rarely sleep with the get comfy, ‘let’s Kung fu panda mummy’s bladder-time‘ from mini me hourly, but it is painful when the same spot becomes her punching bag in a particular time period at certain hours of the day. Out of everything it annoys me that my partner fails to understand it. It’s like, he knows that he can’t do anything to help, so instead of offering help, his light bulb goes off, and he goes to sleep clutching my arm, in a hope that that will solve my bump pain instead or gently . Now I’m stuck with sleeping beauty snoring next to me, clutching my arm for dear life, his leg draped over mine and I’m stuck wondering whether the feeling I have right now is her kicking, gas or my bladder. I know at times he’d happily take the pain away if he could, but sometimes I’ve dreamt it that he’d get kicked hard 20 times repeatedly just to understand the pain that we go through for their magical wonder that will join us in months to come.
I will pee again, even though I just peed 5 minutes ago 


Our bladders are not built for this shit but somehow we have to just get on with it and as time goes on, I’m peeing more than before. I can’t explain it really but it’s tremendously annoying when you’ve not drunk anything for nigh on an hour, but somehow that’s making you pee just as many times as if you had a litre of water in one sitting. Sometimes I feel that I should just stay in the bathroom, make a life for myself, become friends with the bottles of crap we store in there, plenty of reading material for sure.
I do need 8 pillows to sleep on/with and yes it does make total sense to us 


Currently there is exactly 7 pillows that I need to sleep on, with and around tonight when I sleep. Don’t take offence but they’re softer against my bump and don’t sweat or overheat or talk back when I need you to move over when I need some more space for me and the bump. It makes total sense. I don’t need a pregnancy pillow yet, I’m loving the tonnes of pillows I have in my bed fort already and they are doing the trick just fine. One for between my thighs, one for supporting my bump, one for my back and the rest for my whatever they are needed.

Putting endless amounts of cream or oil on our tummies/body is to help soothe our skin for a reason 

It’s soothing. Our skin on our tummies feels like it’s being stretched beyond imagination. To put it in comparison, remember when we were kids, the Chinese burn was a common playground activity – it’s like that but all over our tummy. It’s sore and painful. So back off if you won’t touch us because now our skin is doused in it, get over it, labour will be a lot worse, oil won’t snap off your hand.

We’re not making it up when we say they’re kicking, it might be your deep tone of voice that’s stopping them react 

 

I’m 27 weeks pregnant and as odd as it may be for you to understand but mini me, is more alert than you may want to believe. At 9 weeks, our little one is moving around like a fish in water, yet it’s unnoticeable to us mama’s, but by the time we come to the first scan, we’ll see our little one moving, but it’s not till 19 weeks did I feel her moving inside. That flutter, that funny little feeling that she was in there, was in my mind her making contact (don’t laugh), it’s reassuring, to feel and to know that she’s ok and making herself known.

One morning I awoke to Sam not being able to sleep (trying to get used to sleeping at night again after his shift work), a strong hunger growl in my tummy and us chatting away, got two almighty kicks and a few moves to express her disgust that we’re rude enough to wake her up. That’s our girl!

Sharing food – don’t take it personally we just have to eat, so steal that chip off our plate, go on, we dare you! 

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We’re not being hormonal, we’re not being annoying, it’s just we’re feeding for two in the healthiest kind of way. Like you’re protective with your food, we will eat everything on our plate, sometimes imagining the plate is a juicy steak as well, just because we’re that hungry. I’ve had days where I’ve literally eaten every hour. I’m fit to burst, but what baby wants, she got that day.

Don’t take us being moody personal 

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Mood swings are super common during pregnancy. They play a big role in pregnancy as do heartburn, morning sickness and backache. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired, sad, happy and exhausted are all part of our lovely hormones kicking in. Women take note, you’re not alone. It’s just part of the pregnancy experience. It’s normal so don’t beat yourself up about it. Partners take note, your other half is going through a pretty big stage in her life and growing a mini human can be super stressful, so don’t take it personally if some days she wants to rip your head off and other days she loves you more than life itself.

Getting comfy at night takes a lot of skill 


It’s not easy to just get into bed anymore and just fall asleep. Oh no, it’s way more complicated. Whilst you may fall into bed and collapse from exhaustion, us ladies have that ever so annoying task of finding a way to find a comfy spot and pray to the heavens that will be our spot and we won’t have to move until the morning. But that never happens. Ever. With an over active bump, I’m stuck with a circus performance every night, even after my constant toilet breaks, she refuses to give up and just let me sleep.

We can hit points in our pregnancy when we’ve had enough

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I’ve hit it on and off the past few weeks. The frustration, the irritation that in actual fact, I’ve still got 11 weeks to go. Whilst some say “the final few months will fly by and she’ll kick and you won’t be able to get any sleep,” I want to scream at them and say ‘well, in actual fact, I haven’t slept for about a month and she’s a mover and shaker in there already.’ I’m excited she’s nearly here and the nursery is getting sorted in a few weeks, but I kind of just want it (pregnancy) to be over already. I feel like I’ve been pregnant for years!

Pregnancy is a lot harder than you think, so do bear with us

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It may feel like a walk in the park for you guys because you’ve planted your seed and done your bit till the little one arrives but it still is bloody hard, physically and emotional. We didn’t expect it to be this exhausting, tiring, nauseating, hormonally charged and so much hard work. It’s tough growing a little life inside us, really tough. Some days we feel awesome, other days we feel like crap and want you to make us feel better.

When I want a massage I don’t mean a massage, I just want you to stroke my tummy or my arm and give me attention

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My belly button and tummy feels like it’s being stretched to infinity and beyond and with this comes uncomfortable pain, a lot of the time. So please bear with us whilst we complain, we just need you to do this to make us not think of the pain that often occurs with this stretchy pain.

We are scared, as are you 

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I’m excited, sure. I know you’re excited too, but we’re also sh*tting it. Don’t think that we’re not. We have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen in the months to come, when they’re born, the actual impact of the sleepless nights that people say will happen, what will have in 3,5,10,15 or 20 years time and worried about what we, as partners will be like in weeks, months and years to come.

I have no clue who our baby will look like, but stop going on about it 

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We all wonder what our little ones will look like and it’s exciting to try and picture who they will take after but hearing again and again and again that she will have your blue eyes and blonde hair, can get a little annoying after a while. Let’s just see what happens, yeah.

Being this huge does make us think we’ve stop being physically attractive

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Growing a life in you is pretty darn amazing and I am fascinated by my bump but whilst some days I’ll think I work it as the hot mama, I do also think this can’t be at all sexy to our partners. Our boobs are bigger than they’ve ever been before, sort of like a boob job but painful and swollen, we hate our stretchmarks, the visible veins on our bodies so we worry like no tomorrow that you no longer find us attractive or sexy and probably stare at every other girl that is around us, everywhere and anywhere.I know you say it, but sometimes, it would be great if it were more often, that you do love our bodies, it makes us feel happier and more attractive.

We appreciate the extra effort you’re putting in

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We appreciate you and know that you’ve worked your ass off doing ridiculous hours and shifts to make sure we’re all set for when they arrive. I know you’re keen to get the nursery ready, making sure the house is finished for their arrival. So we pregnant women want you to know that we think you’re amazing and we’re lucky to have you.

We can’t wait to see you as a father

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Throughout this whole journey together, the highs and the lows, one of the things we’d love to see is you cradling our little bundle of joy with deep admiration and love, ready to kick ass and take on the world with your new sidekick. We’re just as excited as you and can’t wait for our new journey begin.

Lots of love, all us, pregnant women x0x0

 

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