So I’ve been pregnant for 22 weeks and 2 days now and I’ve got to be honest, any first time mum might have felt the same and I really really don’t want to sound annoying and ungrateful, but I feel like I have been pregnant for ages. Not like a few months but for ages like, years. One of the nurses at an appointment last week said “Oh you are half way through, not long to go, it’s going to fly by.” My thoughts were literally the complete opposite, it popped into my head as ‘are you shitting me? Is that it? I feel like I’ve been pregnant for eternity.’
I can’t help feeling that I may be alone in this, I mean, I’m enjoying being pregnant, but it just feels like it’s completely taken over every inch of my being and that I’m carrying this baby until the end of time. I’m already forgetting weeks, I’d love to just say I’m half way through, but you can’t do that to those who have to know. An email newsletter I receive daily, points out how many days there are to go, and even then I’m looking at it like years not days.
My first trimester was literally the worst. Whilst all my friends lavished in not having morning sickness, I barfed 24/7. Anything made me sick. My bloodhound nose could pick up smells from miles away and one wrong sniff and that was that, I went to town on that toilet bowl (sorry), morning, noon and night.
I know I should be more grateful and enjoy every minute, which I do, but it still feels frustrating that it feels like one day being pregnant is actually like a year. I eat well, I walk a lot, I look after my skin and body and she merrily kicks away inside me and I can’t wait to meet her. I suppose being pregnant can be hard, it’s not a walk in the park for some people, I enjoy being pregnant, but sometimes I’ve had days where I’ve not felt pregnant for like a split second and try to jump out of bed, only to remember that I can’t, I mean I can but it’s more of a roly poly way of getting out of bed, but anyway.
The emotions that come with being pregnant is totally unreal, some days I feel great, other days I feel exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally drained. She doesn’t move much during the day, but come evening she’s having a break dance competition with my organs and sometimes, just sometimes it’s really tiring and sore. The constant kick kick kick kick kick can be sore in the same area over a particular time period. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a proper nights’ sleep without the obvious toilet breaks but also, once I get up, she feels the need to dance around constantly. It’s a challenge and if I say it too many times I feel like I’m moaning but I’m not, so ranting about it on here, makes me feel a teeny weeny bit better about it.
It’s emotionally trying on my hormones too. After banning myself from Dr Google the other week, I’ve stopped trying to use search engines to find out if people are experiencing the same thing. I’ve tried speaking to some people about it, but unless someone has been pregnant before and had depression, I don’t want some to gloat about their stress free pregnancy which has happened quite a lot and honestly temptation has passed to disown them as friends altogether.
I know this is all down to hormones and growing a little person inside of me but it would be interesting to see what other people feel like or what their experiences have been like. I may be alone in this, but I may not, and if it is the latter, sharing your feelings on the topic would be interesting.