No one said it was going to be easy. Maybe me, maybe I tried to convince myself that it was going to be easier than what it’s actually been. When we planned to move down here, I thought I could continue working away with my recruitment business, find a part time job, make a load of new friends and everything would be just sweet and merry. Quite the opposite in fact.
Since the vote last month, my business has run cold, OK, that’s a lie, it’s been on the ‘let’s scrap it heap’ for quite a few months and the move has most definitely confirmed that running a specialist social media and digital recruitment agency in an area where social media is mainly done in-house and on a super small budget,I should forget trying to recruit for these firms and also realise my heart just isn’t in it anymore. I already spend much of my time by myself, now I’m spending time by myself with a little princess growing inside me and trying to sound super happy on the phone to potential candidates and clients is impossible. When your heart’s not in it anymore, there’s no point trying to force something that doesn’t want to work, is there?
Trying to get used to a new place is super hard, getting used to my surroundings has got easier as time has got on and I’ve worked out where’s best to find the all important services, shops, facilities and I can’t go wrong with the fact there’s a sand beach just 15 minutes up the road. For me this is a super big change, for my boyfriend I can see why working and living in London 5 days a week and returning of the weekends here worked for him. Moving house and area can be exciting but can also be incredibly lonely too. I’m lucky enough that after weeks of speaking to recruiters and chasing my tail, finding a job down here with my skill set has been nearly impossible, thankfully a chance run in at the local tourist office has secured me a few hours a week at a coffee shop so I don’t completely drive myself stir crazy. But it is possible to do when you don’t know many people, are pregnant, not used to a certain area and am normally a social butterfly.
Ramsgate is very different to what I’m used to. I mean, I’m used to Ramsgate now, I feel settled in, but it’s going to be a long time before I feel 100% comfortable being down here. It’s hard that I can’t pop around the corner to see my bestie or that I can’t go over to my mum’s for her amazing Sunday lunches and hang out playing hide and seek with my 4 year old niece or even just going to my local and catching up on all the gossip.
I wouldn’t say I’m lonely, because I’m not, but I did think that it would be easier finding work, making new friends and fitting in but I feel a little bit like a wallflower again, reminding me of being back at school being the socially awkward person, encouraged to meet new people but would be more comfortable sitting by myself with my book. Opportunities to meet new people down here has been a lot harder but I do count my lucky stars that I’m in a day and age that we have the channels that can help us with our search. We have Google, social media and the world wide web. Unfortunately even with these channels, there is limited information about groups to meet new people down in Ramsgate. I’ve been on Netmums since I found out I was pregnant, set myself up a little bio and posted a introduction and although I got a few responses, only two lovely ladies do I speak to now and we are yet to meet, the rest of them are too far away.
So, after having a bit of a depressing down-in-the-dumps, cry-my-eyes out moment, I spoke to the one person who knows about moving somewhere for family and not knowing anyone; my mum. Back in the 80’s my mum moved to Cambridge with my dad for his work, before she was pregnant, 62 miles away from home, not knowing anyone, in a day and age when mobiles were three times the size they are now but were seen as a luxury for all the city bankers of the world, not the average person. After speaking to mum and having my rant, she assured me that there are ways around it and I’m not totally insane. It’s not uncommon to feel lonely when you move to a new place. So, her moving survival guide has started to work a treat, it won’t happen overnight but it will happen and when it does, you’ll wonder what you worried about in the first place, in months to come.
Mum’s moving survival guide 2016
- Visit your local library and find out about local groups in the area
- Enrol in the local college and find out about day, weekend or evening courses
- Ask people on social media
- Join a Facebook group and introduce yourself
- Go to local events
So I did just that. I visited the library which annoyingly didn’t offer what I needed, but they did give me a course brochure for East Kent College, which has given me some ideas to look into. I asked a few people on Twitter that proved pretty useless for me, most people were more keen in my comical take on being pregnant than giving any suggestions. I found a great group on Facebook called ‘I love Ramsgate,’ wrote an introduction and waited out for the responses. Within a few hours members commented offering advice, referrals and recommendations that would appeal, it really helped. From that I decided to go ahead with the idea of writing this blog that I’ve been pondering for weeks and already I feel a little happier. No I don’t have lots of friends down here and yes I do try and avoid going onto Facebook all the time because it does remind me of home but I do have a more of a positive outlook on everything and don’t feel as lonely as I did before.
Thanks for reading, keep an eye out for future updates on how I’m getting on.